Hard topics

My friend Shannon was just discussing how her kids are starting to ask questions about one of the 2 most difficult topics EVER to discuss with children. We have been through them both. Sex and death. Both of them are VERY difficult and not too comfortable in their own way.

Maelie started talking about the difference between boys and girls, and how we are made, a while back. At least since age 2.5 - 3. I always wanted to raise Maelie to not be ashamed or uncomfortable as most of us were raised. So I have always used the correct name for private parts. When the questions became a bit more technical, I had two options. Send her off to boarding preschool or to just order books about the subject. SO I went on Amazon.ca and just browsed for hours trying to find good books that are very open and descriptive. I must say, perhaps some were a bit too descriptive. To give an example of that, when I told Maelie that my sister was pregnant, the first thing out of her mouth was "so who swam the fastest?" At first I was puzzled until she clarified what she meant, which was, if you hadn't guessed, "which sperm made it first to the egg". I don't know how I can cope with these things. I have a million uncomfortable moments about sex questions with this kid. She is making me earn my wings! She is not satisfied with simple answers, she wants the details. I don't ever ask her to not ever ask me questions like that. As much as I could totally run away, I give her the answers that she deserves. She deserves to know the truth and be comfortable and happy.

Shannon was asking me which books we found.

One book we read was this one: "What's the Big Secret? : Talking About Sex With Girls & Boys" by Laurie Kransy Brown and Marc Brown. This one I must say was VERY detailed and you had to kind of skip a few parts until you as a parent are more comfortable. You also have to leave a few question for when the kids are ready. Sometimes they are satisfied with an answer whereas other times they will ask for more detail. I just go with what she is ready to know, and she lets me know when she is ready to know, believe me.

If I was going to start with one book though, "Amazing You" by Gail Saltz and Lynne Cravath. Again, I was able to skip one or two paragraphs here and there until she asked about them. Maelie has asked me to read this book many many times.

In the evening, if Bill is home, she will ask him to read a story. The other day she chose THAT book! I had to sit there and watch Bill skip many many many paragraphs! You could tell her was not the one having to deal with Maelie's millions of questions on a daily basis! :)

We have other body books, but they don't deal specifically with the boy/girl aspect.

I think it is very important for us as parents to be comfortable discussing anything with our kids. When Maelie is a teenager and has questions, I want her to feel like she can come to me, and not go with what her friends are teaching her. I know that is asking a lot, but hopefully, our lines of communication will be good, and she will trust that I won't make fun of her. We do the best we can as parents. I think it is truly important to know that if we do not discuss these topics with our kids, they will learn about them on the streets. and I don't want that for my daughter.