Meet Mme Chose

Meet Madame Chose. She is the bearer of good news or bad news at our house. She likes to sunbathe day and night. When we check her out, she either has a good number to share with us or a bad number. Today, she told us the pool was 81 degrees! So we swam for an hour.



This is Maelie at the beach on Monday. It was fun!



We stayed there and watched the sun set for a bit. We are so spoiled to be able to do this. What a life...!

Society

Today I just have a little thinking out loud to do. Raising a daughter in the world today and teaching her how to be kind and respectful is one thing that I think we have been able to do pretty good. However, some days when I look around me and see people doing things just out of spite, out of anger, out of boredom, it really gets to me.

Yesterday as I left work to drive home, there was obviously a lot of traffic as usual. I will make a long story short... one man in his big pick up truck went out of his way to make SURE I would be caught in an awkward position turning left to the main road. Ans when I say went out of his way, I mean it. He made sure he accelerated, did not even look at me but KNEW I was there. In my mind all I could think of is man I hope one day you learn. He had truly no reason to be unkind. He just chose to.

However as I continued my journey to pick up Maelie, I got off the highway and turned on one kind of busy street, and there on the side of the road was a little elderly lady with a plastic bag picking up the trash that had been just abandoned there. It was extremely hot out there, 33 degrees, yet there she was, picking up the trash to make her little part of the city look nice. (well unless she was just being forced to do community service for some kind of crime she did, but I rather my initial thought)

So there I was, having witnessed two totally different acts. One of kindness and one of selfishness. By seeing the two, I am able to make choices for myself and choose how I want to act.

For those of you interested in reading an AWESOME book in regards to raising children... read this book : The Family Virtues Guide . I think I mentioned it before. But truly, if you want to raise your child who makes the world a better place, you have got to get this book. It is truly an easy read, and is in plain language.

As parents, I really think we need to make an extra effort to practice the virtues and show our kids how it is done. The difference between a value and a virtue is that values will differ depending on which culture you are a part of, which family you come from, values are different for all. However virtues are just the same for all. They are general "goodness". Examples of virtues are respect, patience, tolerance, kindness, excellence, self-discipline... etc.... The book describes how to speak the virtues as well. How saying "You are mommy's little helper" to a child is not good. But telling a child "you are being so helpful today" is awesome. Every child has the potential to develop their virtues, we just need to know how to work on that. What I know is that it is working with Maelie and she is developing into such a loving child.

Two days ago when we went to the beach, Maelie had her bug net to fish for tadpoles and fish and whatever else you could find in the water. She was walking in the water when a little boy about 3 or 4 walked right up to her, and just put his hands on her net and would not stop. Maelie was not sure what to do. She just looked up to me. I explained to her that eprhaps she should talk to the little boy about it. So i listened as she said "um, excuse me, I really would prefer to play by myself with the net right now". Unfortunately, the little boy did not listen very much. He let it go for one second and then grabbed it again not respecting her boundaries. But Maelie tried again in a gentle way. I thought she handled it very well, respectfully and kindly, however, the little boy was not paying attention, so I thought it was too bad since she was being so kind, you would have hoped he listened right away. His parents were busy a bit farther chit chatting and not paying attention. Finally Maelie just looked up at me and I had to intervene and just tell the little boy that she would like to use it by herself and then we just walked away to the other end of the beach. He followed us but at one point, his parents finally intervened and asked him to move closer. (note to parents: pay attention to your kids at the beach!! and anywhere!) So we moved to the end of the beach, but I needed to let Maelie know that even if things didn't work out the way they were supposed to, that she did a very good thing. I called her closer to me and told her "Maelie, I wanted to tell you that I am really proud of the way you spoke to the little boy over there. You told him gently and kindly how you felt, and you spoke very respectfully."
She replied: "but mom, why didn't he listen? Why did he listen to you?"
I told her that I don't know why he didn't listen, maybe he was too excited about the net, and perhaps he was just very very friendly, and his parents should have been watching him more closely. But I told her that even if he didn't listen, she did an awesome job at communicating.

We need to reinforce what our kids do right. Even if it doesn't work out.

As you may have noticed, I end up rambling a lot, but this is my blog, my outlet! :)

To end this post, even with being cut off yesterday, this morning, I let cars pass in front of me in the traffic. Even if "la loi du retour" doesn't always happen... I felt good letting someone pass, and giving them faith that yes, there are some people who are kind on the road.

Fun filled weekend

This weekend Kathleen, Francis and Sandrine came over for a quick visit. How time flies when you have friends over! I have to say, Sandrine is the most amazing, sweet little toddler girl I know! and I am not just saying that for the sake of saying that. She is just a pleasant baby to be around. All their babies have their moments, and the parents live out of stress hoping their baby will behave well while travelling, but I truly don't think Kathleen and Francis have to worry at all! Sandrine is such an adorable little girl. Eats well, sleeps well, and plays well! what more could one ask for??

Highlights of our weekend include shopping, eating out, going to feed the ducks, going to play at the water games, and playing at home.

I did get Maelie a pair of sandals at the Children's place:



They are a little bit "a la Croc" style but nicer. She is very comfy in them. Sandrine got a matching pair but in pink.

After our guests left, we went to the water games for pic nic & play with Jacinthe & kids, Carole & kids and some other friends of Jacinthe's and their kids. The sun came out and we had a nice time. It was nice to be off work on a weekday!



Now back to work tomorrow.....

Reality hits - Kindergarten

How did she get from this:


to this:



In such little time?

I have been preparing Maelie for Kindergarten for months now. I like discussing it with her, reading books about Kindergarten, and we even visited the classroom and the kids one day. But it seems that it was always so far away. Today is the last day of school for all kids out here. This is hitting me harder than I thought! It means one last summer before I send my baby girl off to the real world. It's making this mama rather emotional! I always loved kids and if the moon had beeen aligned with a certain star, I would have been the kindergarten teacher myself! i guess i took the easy way out and ended up a government employee. haha

When I talk to Maelie about Kindergarten, I am very strong and secure and I do not let her in AT ALL on the fact that inside I am scared and nervous! Don't get me wrong, I am very excited for her to finally be off to school. But I always have the questions in my mind. What is she is scared ? What if she picks up horrible habits? What if her self confidence is shot down ? What is she gets hurt, physically or emotionally? What if she gets lost ? What if she needs her mama and I am not there?

Well this is life. We have all been through it, and we all came out stonger. We can't overprotect our kids all their lives. We have to let them grow up and learn how to be themselves and be part of a bigger world where you just have to make an effort sometimes.

I will definitely need a week off just to cry in September! :)
Shannon, I know you understand! Maybe we can get together and cry when Chase and Maelie head off to the real world!

But in the meantime, let's just enjoy the next 2 months !

Snow in June!

The storm was amazing!


Wow... who could imagine the first day of summer having ICE PELLETS

so how DID life begin?

Yesterday after picking up Maelie at the daycare, I was blessed with another one of her important questions.

"mom, you know, before we were born and a long time ago before anyone was born, who was born first?"

I had to go back in my mind to those classes in high school where they teach you these things. But since I am talking to a 5 year old who wants to know everything, I have to be careful with what I say.

Not being sure of the right answer, I replied that God created Adam and Eve.

"But mom, I want to know how life started. How the world all began."

"ok sweetheart, how about Mommy will find a book about it and we can read it together?"

"ok mom"

I have to honestly say, just when you think you have answered all the difficult questions... there is always a new one popping up! I think this is payback for never listening in class.

4 dodos

4 more sleeps til Kathleen, Francis and Sandrine come for a visit! I truly *LOVE* having company. Especially my longest lasting best friend Kathleen. She and I met when we were 6 years old in first grade. 26 years later, our friendship is real and unconditional. What is very funny about Kathleen and I is that we weren't always super close cutesy friends. We always had VERY strong personalities, were always very opinionated, and very often did not know how to tolerate each others bossiness! (no offense kath). LOL but ever since we left high school, it seems that we decided we enjoyed each other. We were not *forced* to be together in a school setting any longer. The thing with Kath is that I am very comfortable with her and her whole family. How many Friday nights we spent sitting at the kitchen table playing monopoly with her very competitive dad, who could definitely NOT be sweet talked into a deal.

I find now that she and I are both moms, we can also relate on a different level. Our lives are very different, and we have grown into two extremely different people but I think we appreciate each other more than ever now. Now that I am more settled, and done roaming the land, we actually get to connect in person more than 3 times a year! and that in itself is a miracle. I am very excited about our upcoming weekend. Maelie is very excited about seeing Sandrine, she says she is her favorite baby. I have to say, Sandrine is a very pleasant little one. I know that when Kath comes, she will always be honest and straightforward if she wants to do something or not. I don't think we need to pretend with each other. and thats what true friendship is all about.

Sometimes we sit and talk about how it used to be when we are younger. Some days I am embarassed about who I was, and I guess who I was trying to pretend I was in high school. This is why I am glad Kath didn't give up on me. I am a much better person now that I used to be! :)

I am sure we will have a great time! and that the weekend will surely fly by. It's a long weekend and there are a lot of things going on in the city. Let's hope it is mainly nice outside because I want to share pool time and water games with Sandrine. But lets also hope for one partly cloudy day so we don't feel guilty going for a bit of shopping.

4 more sleeps.....!!

Happy Father's Day!

Maelie was up at 6:30 this morning and the first thing out of her mouth is "We have to make Daddy's card". So here we were at the kitchen table making Daddy his card. She did it all by herself. The picture inside the card is Me dressed up as a cat on the left side, daddy in the middle with a crown because he is a king, and Maelie on the right with rabbit ears. There's the sky and the sun. The card is green so she said that was grass.

I love kids pictures. They are so full of imagination. And there is nothing better that a kids handwriting. Maelie has taken to writing a lot. She knows all her letters and loves for us to spell things out for her. Pretty soon, Bill and I will not be able to spell things out to each other.

Hard topics

My friend Shannon was just discussing how her kids are starting to ask questions about one of the 2 most difficult topics EVER to discuss with children. We have been through them both. Sex and death. Both of them are VERY difficult and not too comfortable in their own way.

Maelie started talking about the difference between boys and girls, and how we are made, a while back. At least since age 2.5 - 3. I always wanted to raise Maelie to not be ashamed or uncomfortable as most of us were raised. So I have always used the correct name for private parts. When the questions became a bit more technical, I had two options. Send her off to boarding preschool or to just order books about the subject. SO I went on Amazon.ca and just browsed for hours trying to find good books that are very open and descriptive. I must say, perhaps some were a bit too descriptive. To give an example of that, when I told Maelie that my sister was pregnant, the first thing out of her mouth was "so who swam the fastest?" At first I was puzzled until she clarified what she meant, which was, if you hadn't guessed, "which sperm made it first to the egg". I don't know how I can cope with these things. I have a million uncomfortable moments about sex questions with this kid. She is making me earn my wings! She is not satisfied with simple answers, she wants the details. I don't ever ask her to not ever ask me questions like that. As much as I could totally run away, I give her the answers that she deserves. She deserves to know the truth and be comfortable and happy.

Shannon was asking me which books we found.

One book we read was this one: "What's the Big Secret? : Talking About Sex With Girls & Boys" by Laurie Kransy Brown and Marc Brown. This one I must say was VERY detailed and you had to kind of skip a few parts until you as a parent are more comfortable. You also have to leave a few question for when the kids are ready. Sometimes they are satisfied with an answer whereas other times they will ask for more detail. I just go with what she is ready to know, and she lets me know when she is ready to know, believe me.

If I was going to start with one book though, "Amazing You" by Gail Saltz and Lynne Cravath. Again, I was able to skip one or two paragraphs here and there until she asked about them. Maelie has asked me to read this book many many times.

In the evening, if Bill is home, she will ask him to read a story. The other day she chose THAT book! I had to sit there and watch Bill skip many many many paragraphs! You could tell her was not the one having to deal with Maelie's millions of questions on a daily basis! :)

We have other body books, but they don't deal specifically with the boy/girl aspect.

I think it is very important for us as parents to be comfortable discussing anything with our kids. When Maelie is a teenager and has questions, I want her to feel like she can come to me, and not go with what her friends are teaching her. I know that is asking a lot, but hopefully, our lines of communication will be good, and she will trust that I won't make fun of her. We do the best we can as parents. I think it is truly important to know that if we do not discuss these topics with our kids, they will learn about them on the streets. and I don't want that for my daughter.

now THAT'S fun!

What a weekend we had! All of last week was beautiful! So I expected this weekend to be a rainy flop. Little did I know that Mother Nature had something else in mind. 30 degrees on Saturday! Maelie stayed in the pool most of the day with 2 trips to the water games. Her friend Yasmeen came over for the afternoon. It was quite interesting! Mom was worn out! These 2 girls are both really bossy and so just being gentle and caring towards each other is not very common. They had fun though.



The girls got wet and then went ahead and sat in the sand to make sand castles. They both had pretty sandy bums afterwards!



Sunday, my neighbor Jacinthe and her 2 kids came over to make chocolates as an end of year present for the teacher and classmates. Her daughter is very meticulous and so she concentrated really hard at painting her chocolates beautifully. I think they mainly enjoyed popping in a few chocolates wafers! After the couple of hours spent making chocolates, Maelie and Raphael went outside. I let Maelie go outside in our yard occasionally. She just usually tries to catch bugs. Well today when I went outside, they were both sitting down and concentrating on a beautiful mud whole they dug IN.THE.GRASS! This is the grass that we had spent weeks watching patiently praying that it would grow after dumping pounds of grass seed! Well, I guess we will have to try that again. They DID find ants, according to their plan. They had fun, so I didn't say anything about the grass! Grass will grow again (most of the time) but kids will only be kids once. And if i even ask Maelie to dig in the dirt 3-4 years from now, she may just say "mom! that's gross!" So Maelie? You want to dig holes on the front lawn? What the heck. It's just grass. or lack thereof.

Happy Summer!

Less of a fire hazard

I think this is less of a fire hazard than 32 candles....

Happy birthday to me!!

grand-maman's influence

Stop with the pictures Mom!!

Well today my mom and Gilles are visiting so we did what we always do when we are together. We went yard saling. I think we now officially fall in the category of hillbillies.



Maelie has her very own raccoon hat. Enough said.

indecisive

Maelie is a bit confused as to who to root for. Bill wants the Ducks to win, however the rest of Gatineau/Ottawa wants the Senators to win.

Maelie has both her flags waving away tonight as the game goes on....

New Spring Curtains

I thought my snowmen curtains were jinxing the weather. So I got some spring ones.

Worm hunting

It has officially started. The worm hunting season. Maelie and I are the only ones out in the neighborhood in this rainy weather. That's because we have an important job to do.



We need to save worms. Good citizens that we are, we rescue them from the road and return them to the dirt.

I have to say, this time we were not the only ones out in the neighborhood.



We had company today! This couple visits the bird feeder outside a neighborhood apartment building every year.

When we got home, it was bath time of course. I got a bit crazy with the camera and tried different settings and poses. I don't usually have time to just switch the button to black and white or sepia settings. So after years of having this camera, I finally went crazy and tried them all. on the same night! My life is so exciting.






We had a nice evening! :)

Go Sens Go

Maelie was being influenced by her Dad to root for the Ducks... but she realized that the Senators were much more popular around here, you know being in Ottawa and all! So now she is going for the Sens. She wrote "Go Sens Go" on a flag we printed off and now she is insisting we go give it to our neighbor across the street. She says that she was joking when she said she liked the Ducks.



This afternoon, we were driving by a river, and then we suddenly saw a beach! So my good thinking of bringing towels and Maelies bathing suit paid off! Maelie enjoyed looking for tadpoles, but was not successful in her hunt.

We had a good relaxing weekend. We did a few yard sales, got some good clothing deals. I am proud to say Maelie is a well dressed kid for 1$ a piece sometimes! I explained to Maelie that in July, we will be having a yard sale and she can choose to sell some of the toys she doesn't use anymore. This morning she went around the house filling up a bag with things she doesn't use anymore. She started pricing them as well. Prices range from 1 cent to 2 dollars.

We went in the pool when we got home because it is pretty hot and humid outside. Maelie is looking forward to swimming on her own without floaties.

Back to reality tomorrow....

young boys

"mom, why is Brent always acting so silly?" (Brent is 8 yrs old)

"well, he is trying to impress you"

"oh, ok. I'm impressed."